Future Dog Walker

And The First Leaves…

And he’s leaving. 
For grad school in another state.
Which is great.

And yes, he is my ex boyfriend that I never got over.
And yes, he was an asshole by suggesting that we stay ‘just friends’, knowing full well that I was still in love with him.

And yes, I thought we were going to get back together.
And yes, I thought that he was never going to leave.

But he is.
And we’re not.

And all my denial is catching up with me in one swift wind and knocking me down.
And I’ll be fine.
But… I think for tonight… I’m just going to stay down here for a while.

Because he was my first. Everything.
First kiss.
First cuddle.
First love.
First person who told me they loved me. 
First person who broke my heart.
First person who said they don’t love me anymore.
First person I hated.
First person I wanted more than anything.
First person to leave me.

And that’s fine. That’s what people do. And there will be many more guys who will fill those roles.
But there is something about the first.
That I think will stay with you forever.

And I’ll get up from down here… but… not tonight. 
I’m going to stay down here. Tonight.  

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